He kissed a someone with a penis
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
