my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
She bit a glass in half.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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