There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
