Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize