I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
