he wants to bone in the snuggie
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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