Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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