if i can run in heels then i can drive
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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