omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
