Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
