I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
