return my video game
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
