Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
