butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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