do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
