I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Randomize
