The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
