I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
