So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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