His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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