Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize