I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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