So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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