using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
