I wannas sexs uuuuu
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
