no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
