I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
