I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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