2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
