Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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