at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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