I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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