singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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