My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize