is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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