My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
