is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
