I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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