just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
too bad you live with your parents still
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
