so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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