The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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