That's when you crack a 10am beer
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
