I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize