all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
