he wants to bone in the snuggie
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
