real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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