He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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