people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you would pick up someone in the library
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
