you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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