If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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