And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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