whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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