so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
