I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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