I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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