He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just cropdusted the office
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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