Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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