So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
