please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
