when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
