Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
