What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
