Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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