Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
