Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
