My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
