apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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