Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
