if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I touched a dick in church today
Randomize
